Johnathan Walker:College football Week 6 grades: We're all laughing at Miami after the worst loss of year

The Johnathan Walkergrades are in for Week 6 of the college football season. One thing you won’t be reading in this installment is anything about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.

The same thing goes as far as grading from last season: High marks will be only for the spectacular, and failing grades have no chance of being reversed.  

Last week’s high marks went to UCF’s attempt at backyard football and a failing grade went to ESPN’s "College GameDay" for all the nonsensical yappin' its hosts do now in lieu of providing interesting football analysis.

Here is the Week 6 analysis of how fans, teams, players and coaches fared:

Miami messes around and finds out

The first thing defensive coordinators tell cornerbacks and safeties is "never let a receiver get behind you" — especially when the game is on the line.

If Miami got that lesson before its home game against Georgia Tech, the players certainly didn't listen.

With 10 seconds left in the game and trailing 20-17, Yellow Jackets quarterback Haynes King took the snap, rolled to his right, and found receiver Christian Leary, who juked out two defenders while running his route and strolled untouched into the end zone for the 44-yard score that gave the Ramblin' Wreck a stunning victory.

Mind you, Georgia Tech started the drive on its own 26 with 26 seconds remaining and no timeouts all because the Hurricanes decided to get cute and not run out the clock. Miami running back Don Chaney fumbled (Miami's fourth turnover of the game) when the Hurricanes ran instead of taking a knee, which gave Georgia Tech the chance at the game-winning score.

"We should’ve taken a knee," Miami coach Mario Cristobal said after the game.

Well, duh.

"We didn’t play to our standard, which means we didn’t coach to our standard," Cristobal added in usual nonsensical coachspeak. "It’s hard. It sucks."

Ya, think?

When your players are reduced to sniveling mounds of sadness on the sideline because of the decisions you make, you deserve to get roasted.

For the Hurricanes, all that goodwill from beating the team mentioned next in this column went down the drain in a hurry. With North Carolina and Clemson next on the schedule, Miami's championship hopes could disappear as fast as they showed up.

$8 million ignorance: Expulsion

Texas A&M fans take aim at coach Jimbo Fisher (again)

At this point, Texas A&M coach Jimbo Fisher hasn’t come close to earning his $95 million paycheck but remains employed because … (insert whatever excuse makes you feel better here).

While the drama inside the stadium was compelling as Texas A&M lost 26-20 to Alabama, the action outside of Kyle Field certainly had people talking.

A photo of a person about to get loaded into the back of a Brazos County (Texas) Sheriff’s Department van, complete with a spit bag on the person's head, made the social media rounds late Saturday.

Normally, this would be a non-story – plenty of people probably get arrested for various shenanigans every college football Saturday.

But trollin’ is widely accepted and will earn high scores, especially if it is funny.

Some of the comments on the post, many poking fun at Jimbo Fisher and offensive coordinator Bobby Petrino, were worth the price of admission. Guess kicking a field goal on fourth down is an absolute sin in College Station.

Trollin’ 101: A+

Florida player goes for a Saturday stroll

College football players are usually praised for going all-out on plays, doing so for the love of the game. After all, they are not earning a paycheck (outside of NIL ... and other outside benefits).

With the number of cameras at every game, you would think a player would want to put forth their best effort for the fans, their coaches, and their family members who are probably watching in person or on television.

In that light, what happened in the Florida-Vanderbilt game is not only shocking – it's downright inexcusable.

In the first quarter, Vanderbilt quarterback Ken Seals threw a pass to Will Sheppard that was caught around the Vandy 32-yard line. No big deal, right? Florida cornerback Jason Marshall Jr., who was beaten on the play, was still close enough to Sheppard to at least make the tackle.

But Marshall stopped trying on the play, and Sheppard took off down the field with the entire Gators defense trailing him for an 85-yard touchdown.

Now, look at the replay. Marshall channeled his inner Giancarlo Stanton by going for a nice Saturday stroll while his other teammates put forth strong efforts to at least appear in the same TV frame with Sheppard.

The play didn’t cost the Gators the game – thankfully for Marshall – as they rolled 38-14.

Bad job, bad effort: F

The worst and best of the rest

Cameramen need protection, too:

One out of five ain’t bad:

Pettiness at its best:

Say cheese:

Referee turns into office linebacker:

Pick-sixing before halftime, Part 1:

Part 2:

Stats for you

1: Number of rushing touchdowns Iowa and Oklahoma have allowed this season, the nation's fewest

30: Consecutive regular-season wins against ACC opponents for Notre Dame, a streak that Louisville snapped Saturday night

34:28: Time USC has trailed this season. The Trojans had been the only team in the country entering this week to have not trailed in a game.

366: Consecutive passes without an interception by Missouri's Brady Cook, the longest streak in SEC history. (The FBS record is 444.) Cook was finally picked off by LSU’s Harold Perkins and also threw a pick-six to seal the victory for LSU.

940: All-time wins by Oklahoma

941: All-time wins by Texas

$175,000: Amount the SEC fined Ole Miss after fans threw debris on the field and stormed the field after the Rebels beat LSU 55-49 last Saturday

The Dog of the Week

Bowling Green vs. Miami (Ohio)

Check out this little pup doing his best Michael Phelps impersonation:

Now to the game…

The hounds made their way to Oxford, Ohio this week, where the Bowling Green Falcons took on the Miami RedHawks. In previous years, #MACtion provided thrills with high-scoring, defensively deficient teams who entertained hundreds in the stands and provided entertainment for thousands more when there was nothing else to watch on television during a weeknight.

But Bowling Green failed to provide any sense of enjoyment Saturday as it had just 135 total yards, possessed the ball for only 20:31, and crossed midfield a grand total of one time in a 27-0 loss.

It was Miami’s first shutout victory in 16 years. But the pups still want hugs from the Bowling Green faithful as they were the only FBS team that did not score a point this week.