Current:Home > MyThis woman threw french fries on her husband's grave. Millions laughed – and grieved. -CapitalCourse
This woman threw french fries on her husband's grave. Millions laughed – and grieved.
View
Date:2025-04-14 15:08:52
The Rosenthals spend Father's Day like most families – with their dad.
"Here, Mark, have a fry," Robin Rosenthal told her husband on the holiday a few years ago, then tossed one in his direction. But Mark couldn't catch it. That's because Mark is dead.
OK, so, not exactly like most families.
Robin – sporting a tie-dye T-shirt and a condiment on her face – was throwing the fries on his grave. Her son Sam, 31, posted that now-viral video on TikTok in June 2021, where it has since steadily amassed 15.6 million views and 3.2 million likes.
"You can tell by what I was wearing I was not prepared for that," Robin says over a recent Zoom call with Sam and daughter Emma, 28. "To have that go viral like it has, I'm still super embarrassed about what I look like." But she's not super embarrassed about what they were up to.
The family visits Mark's grave regularly, and on important occasions and holidays. But they always make it fun. This past Father's Day, they brought a kiddie pool. In April, Sam brought his girlfriend to meet his dad and Robin got down on one knee and begged her to be her daughter-in-law.
"I can't get this kid to propose to her, so I don't know what I'm going to do ... I love her, and Mark would love her," Robin says. All the humor, of course, is tinged with haunting heartbreak. It's been 13 years, and these children never knew their dad as adults. "Now we are talking about the things that he's missing out on," Emma says.
People have long flocked to social media to grieve; some are sharing stories with their dead loved ones directly on social media. Grief experts welcome this type of public healing, for both the bereaved and those watching who may learn something in the process.
"What I love about it so much is that it normalizes grief, No. 1, but it also shows that grief is so much more than just crying and sadness and laying in your bed and not being able to get up," Gina Moffa, licensed clinical social worker and author of "Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go," previously told USA TODAY. "It shows that the relationship continues. It shows how a relationship continues, it shows that it doesn't all have to be sadness and upset and despair."
As Robin puts it, "Life is a gift. Mark's gift's over, but we still have ours, and we're going to make the most of it."
'We find humor'
Mark Rosenthal died of a heart attack more than 13 years ago. He had just turned 60.
"He just dropped dead," Robin said. "He went to the bathroom. I heard the pound on the floor. I got up. I screamed at Emma." Emma started CPR, which she learned from an episode of "The Office." At the hospital, the staff sent along a minister – the Rosenthals are Jewish – and he was holding their hands and praying to Jesus. They started laughing hysterically (how could they not?) even though Mark had died just hours before.
"There are moments of great sadness," Emma says. "But I think that we find humor in those moments too. It's not funny when when you're in it, but the the reflection is usually funny." Sam adds: "There's still waves. There's always waves."
Robin took a lesson from a relative and ran with it: "Until you come to the realization that (your loved one is) not coming back, it's hard to move forward."
It's "a lifelong process," Jessica MacNair, licensed professional counselor, previously told USA TODAY. "It's not prescriptive, it's not, five stages in order, you move through these, and then you reach the end. It's ongoing, it comes up in varying times. And, in fact, I mean, that's probably one of the main reasons that people come back to therapy."
'We're always throwing some sort of food'
Before the pandemic, Emma was living in Chicago getting her master's degree in comedy screenwriting, and Sam was living in Philadelphia performing stand-up while Robin was at home in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, the county's Recorder of Deeds.
When the pandemic hit, Emma and Sam moved back home. That's when the comedy trio came alive.
"We were just doing a puzzle one night, and I recorded a video of my mom ranting about the fact that this puzzle had 1,000 chickens and a worm, and we couldn't find the worm," Emma recalls.
"And they both have master degrees!" Robin interjects. "I mean, really, why couldn't these two find the worm?"
The posting took off from there. The videos don't all touch on grief, but "from day one, when we were filming, everything is just so real us," Emma says. "Our content is just slice of life."
Speaking of slices: Mark loved food, so they always bring it to the cemetery. Starbucks, M&Ms, french fries, you name it. "We're always throwing some sort of food, and it's not there when we go back," Emma says. "He's eating it," Robin jokes.
In case you missed:People are talking to their dead loved ones – and they can't stop laughing. It's a refreshing trend.
'People die but relationships don't'
How would Mark feel about the family's virality? He'd love it. "He wasn't good at speaking in front of groups, but he was funny, and we were a very, very close family," Robin says. "As you can tell, the three of us still are."
That closeness continued as they all grieved. He died at the end of October, and they joined a grief group for children who've lost parents or siblings before Thanksgiving. The programming included support for parents, too. One of Emma's favorite things was when someone in her group would be sharing something heartwarming, only to hear the parents laughing at something Robin said: "We'd be like, 'What are they talking about?' And then we'd get in the car, and she'd go, 'oh yeah, that was me. I made a joke.'"
"It fostered our way of helping people deal with grief," Robin adds. No matter how people are grieving on TikTok, one thing is clear, according to Moffa: "People die but relationships don't."
'It's OK to laugh with the tragedy'
Robin knows how critical their platform is. Even though everyone will go through tragedy, "everyone deals with it differently," she says. "And I've learned that if you don't deal with it up front, it's going to come back to bite you when you're older."
That's why she's kept Mark's memory alive.
"There has never been a moment where we haven't talked about our dad," Emma says. "Doing something fun, 'Dad would have loved this.' Bringing up memories from before, and doing those things now, sharing what we do online has really helped show people it's OK to talk about your loved one. It's OK to laugh about your loved one. It's OK to laugh with the tragedy."
If you'd like to share your thoughts on grief with USA TODAY for possible use in a future story, please take this survey here.
veryGood! (6517)
Related
- Whoopi Goldberg is delightfully vile as Miss Hannigan in ‘Annie’ stage return
- Monument honoring slain civil rights activist Viola Liuzzo and friend is unveiled in Detroit park
- NY Attorney General Letitia James has a long history of fighting Trump, other powerful targets
- Talking Heads' 'Stop Making Sense' is still burning down the house
- The Louvre will be renovated and the 'Mona Lisa' will have her own room
- Powerball jackpot at $850 million for Sept. 27 drawing. See Wednesday's winning numbers.
- Judge tosses Nebraska state lawmaker’s defamation suit against PAC that labeled her a sexual abuser
- Mom of slain deputy devastated DA isn't pursuing death penalty: 'How dare you'
- South Korea's acting president moves to reassure allies, calm markets after Yoon impeachment
- Ukraine’s Zelenskyy taps celebrities for roles as special adviser and charity ambassador
Ranking
- Senate begins final push to expand Social Security benefits for millions of people
- Sean Payton's brash words come back to haunt Broncos coach in disastrous 0-3 start
- Did AI write this film? 'The Creator' offers a muddled plea for human-robot harmony
- Indiana state comptroller Tera Klutz will resign in November after nearly 7 years in state post
- Rams vs. 49ers highlights: LA wins rainy defensive struggle in key divisional game
- NY Attorney General Letitia James has a long history of fighting Trump, other powerful targets
- Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2023 induction ceremony to stream on Disney+, with Elton John performing
- In Detroit suburbs, Trump criticizes Biden, Democrats, automakers over electric vehicles
Recommendation
Rams vs. 49ers highlights: LA wins rainy defensive struggle in key divisional game
Heinz selling Ketchup and Seemingly Ranch bottles after viral Taylor Swift tweet
Rock & Roll Hall of Fame ceremony live this year, with Elton John and Chris Stapleton performing
South Carolina mechanics discover giant boa constrictor in car engine and are working to find it a home
'Squid Game' without subtitles? Duolingo, Netflix encourage fans to learn Korean
Italy’s leader signs deal with industry to lower prices of essentials like food for 3 months
Hispanic Influencers Share Curated Fashion Collections From Amazon's The Drop
In need of an iPhone 15 charging cable? Here's how to find the best USB-C charger cord